"THE POUND IS WEAK LADIES AN GENTLE MAN
yes thats right.
not my words the words.
the words off that bloke on the telly who talks about money.
the bloke with those graphs behind his head that shows when stuff is good.
and also when its bad.
the ones that look like mad jagged mountains.
or that thing that goes up and down when your heart beats at the beginning of an episode of "casualty".
god that was a scary show as a child.
one of the scariest.
the opening music.
"nee naw nee naw nee naw nee naw
DUM DUM DUM DUM!!!!"
if it tought me one thing it was this,
DO NOT go to under ground raves and take drink and drugs because if you do,you can guarantee...
A RAFTER WILL FALL ON YOU!!!!
any ways THE POUND IS WEAK and we only have our selves to blame.
yes that right.
and you know what.
ITS OUR OWN FAULT!
its nothing to do with a recession you bloody fools.
its all down to a careless saying...
"look after the pennies...and the pounds will look after them selves"
im sure you all remember branding that round willy nilly?
well look what you've done.
THE POUND HAS TIRED ITS SELF OUT TRYING TO DEFENDING ITS SELF!!!
Im not suprised its weak.
it must be knackered the poor little circular bastard!
(wierd "poor" money i'm sure there is something in that)
you dont hear of the penny being weak do you?
we've been predjudice.
how could we expect it to keep it up?
constantly being beat down.
maybe rogue pennys were even ganging up on them?
"OH COME ON LADS ITS A HUNDERED TO ONE"?
thats fair game in our eyes sunshine!
"ARGH NO FAIR YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE HEAD".
right flip him over!
ARGHH ME TAIL!!
i wonder what the queen thinks of that photo of her on cash?
i wonder when they took that photo if she knew what she was getting her self in for?
"EUURGH CHRIST... i hate my profile...i look terrible...what's this pic for by the way"?
oh nowt....dont worry...i doubt anyone will see it.
I know from the old modelling days,
some days you turn up.,
do the shoot and before you know what its for
your off to the next job!
you'd have to call your booker to check.
"sorry sarah its rich,just wondering, what was that shoot i just did with that man for"?
"the one in my pants"
errmm...it is...the cover of "BOYZ" magazine!
infact what is her job?
just goes to the cinema alot doesnt she.
shes a professional hand shaker and waver??
im surprised she doesnt have one big hand from over using it.
she should technically look like one of them giant foam handed lunatics off "gladiators".
id love to see her in the crowd.
"BOOOO..WOLF YOU SHIT HEAD...BOOOOO!!!"
"SARACEN....SARACEN ..SARACEN...COME OOONN,
OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!
"no m'lady it doesnt work like that anymore."
oh jesus....i mean,..ON WITH HIS HEAD,...YES STAY ON WITH HIS HEAD...DONT LET IT ACCIDENTALLY FALL OFF EITHER!
"OR IL HAVE YOUR HEAD CUT OFF!!!!
no youve done it again
"shit sorry paul"!
i wonder what her fave would be?
probably the joust?
takes her back to her medievil roots.!!!
imagine if instead of winning brand new "vauxhall corsa".
the loser had to DIE!!
it would give them that extra insentive for the "travellator"!
that mad panic .
"OH MY GOD..I M GOING TO DIE...OH MY GOD IVE SLIPPED AND GOING BACK DOWN...
OH NO HES TAKEN OVER ME"!!!
imagine smashing through that giant paper "G" to your imminnent survival!
That sweaty up beat interview with Ulrika Johnson
while in the back ground the other demoralised lycra clad sod,
is being led off the crash matt weeping so John Fashanu can lop off his bonce!!!
sorry im getting carried away.
that would never happen!!!
theyd get Wolf to do it.
so anyways im not sure why i did this blog.
its not even very long.
nor is there any point to it.
actually il make one.
know this money does'nt matter.
we made it up.
it says nothing about you
and happiness comes from with in.
Actually while im on about being broke.
and in new york.
STINGS SONG "AN ENGLISH MAN IN NEW YORK".
there sommat wrong with that mans head!
"i dont like coffee i drink tea my dear"
"i like my toast done on one siiiide"
YOUR TOASTERS F£$%KING BROKEN MATE.
GET A NEW ONE YOU IDIOT!
you HAVE got enough money!
You could even afford a "breville" one,you schizophrenic toast lover!
you've lost the plot.
singing about ALIENS and TOAST and PROSTITUTES.
who do you think you are?
freddy prince jnr!!!
INFACT stop having ago aliens.
they dont have a go at you for being geordie!
how do you know if they are illegal.
they may be law abiding aliens?
ALTHOUGH YOU DO GET "DODGY" ALIENS.
those ones in the 90s!!!
they were naughty.
giving it all that
"TAKE ME TO YOUR DEALER!" chat.
well thats the Hascienda for ya!
must have messed with there heads.
anyways thats it ive totally lost it again.